Hello
It impacts folks of all genders (although women more commonly have depression) and ages in all parts of the world. “Depression doesn’t seek out specific people. It can happen to anyone at any time, at any point,” said Emma Mahony, a therapist who works with patients in Pennsylvania.
Genetic factors, environmental considerations, psychological factors and medical conditions all play a role in the development of depression, said Manahil Riaz, a psychotherapist in Texas and the owner of Riaz Counseling. Meaning, it isn’t in your control whether or not the downward mood will hit you. But, if you do find yourself suffering from depression, there are things you can do to feel better.
Below, we spoke to therapists who shared what they personally do when they’re depressed.
1. They let themselves feel their feelings.
When you’re feeling depressed, it’s easy to fall into the trap of telling yourself you don’t deserve to feel so down — but that won’t help you feel better. This is where self-compassion comes in.
“Self-compassion looks like being able to acknowledge that right now is a really difficult time, and it’s valid that I’m feeling the way that I’m feeling ... and not only is it valid, it’s OK ― and I don’t have to be hard on myself for not feeling my best,” said Justin Vafa William, a licensed clinical social worker based in Philadelphia.
“Just being able to acknowledge that you’re a good person who’s just going through a hard time and at your core, you still remain good inside,” said William. “Even in your worst moments, your lowest moments, being able to still [have] that recognition of your core worth and value.”
You can start by being your own best friend, Mahony said.
“You can’t bully yourself into feeling better. You can’t negatively talk yourself into feeling better.” Mahony added. “Be kind to yourself. Be compassionate ... you’re not any less than anyone because you’re struggling right now.”
“I think of this for myself — [flowers] have to be watered and get sunshine in order to grow. You can’t step on flowers or not let them see the sun and expect them to grow,” Mahony said. “It’s the same thing. You can’t just bully yourself or be cruel to yourself or not do these things for yourself and then expect yourself to suddenly get on the other side.”
2. They do the things they enjoyed as a child.
“I like to do things that I loved to do when I was younger,” said Riaz. “I think it’s really important to go back to you.” This can help conjure up happy memories and nourish your inner child.
For Riaz, these activities include painting her nails and skating. For you, it could be drawing, listening to throwback songs or playing a musical instrument, but will depend on what you have capacity for in the moment.
3. They make reasonable goals for the day.
“When I feel myself having a shift downwards in my emotions, I try to keep goals tangible,” Mahony said.
Today may feel much harder than a similar day last week, she noted, but you don’t have to do everything you did last week. Instead, you can have an honest conversation with yourself to determine what you’re capable of doing today.